Russell

Today I hopped on the ferry to Russell. I found it hard to believe that this quaint little town full of white-picket fences was once known as "The Hell Hole of the Pacific". It was one of the first ports in New Zealand, back before there was a New Zealand, when lawlessness and pirates prevailed.

I started my day with, what else? Lunch! At the suggestion of some girls from my hostel, I ate a a cute little cafe overlooking the water. They had gluten-free bread, so I ordered a chicken salad sandwich. Apparently chicken salad doesn't mean the same thing here as it does in Texas. (Come to think of it, that goes for everything here.) The waitress looked at me like I was insane when I said I wanted my chicken salad on toasted bread. When my leafy greens and ripe tomatoes with red onion and chicken arrived, I understood. It wasn't the mayo-slathered chicken salad I was expecting. It was a salad, with chicken.
You can tell my day was action-packed when I regale you with a story about chicken salad.

I compulsively took photos for the rest of the afternoon and visited the Pompallier Mission. It was the first Roman Catholic Mission in New Zealand, so the Protestants were understandably pissed. I was interested in visiting it because it was founded by the Marianists, the same fools that founded my high school. The mission was responsible for printing the first copies of the Roman Catholic Bible in Maori. The whole interior of the mission is set up with printing presses and book-making accoutrements, as well as leather-making materials. All of the flooring and much of the ceiling beams were made from ancient kauri wood. (The same type of tree as Tane Mahuta.)

The mission was surrounded by tropical flora and fauna, framing a manicured lawn overlooking the sea. I found myself wondering, 'Maybe celibacy wouldn't be so bad if you had this as a view...'
Apparently the brothers made up for their lack of sex with drinking, as shown by the various liquor bottles found at the site in later years.

After I visited the mission, I drank some lemonade. The end.

Now it's on.

Yesterday was a beautiful day in Paihia. I went to the grocery, bought some hummus for lunch and sat down to eat it on a park bench with the ocean across the street as my view. I had flip-flops on because it was actually a warm day.

About ten minutes into my lunch I felt that familiar sting followed by a nauseating itch.

It couldn't be.

Oh yes. It was.

I decided to not panic. I walked back towards my hostel and bought a cadbury bar on the way.

When I walked out of the store I realized that it was getting harder to bend my fingers, so I went back to my room and took two benadryl, hoping that maybe New Zealand fire ants were kinder and gentler than Texas ones. I stood in front of the mirror trying to decide whether my throat was swelling or not. All I really wanted to do was lay down and finish reading a book about the circus. Then my better judgement got to me and I came to the conclusion that I didn't really want to be found dead at 22 in a bunk-bed in New Zealand...so I got out my epi-pen.

I pulled my jeans down and tried not to collapse into a fit of hysteria. I had to keep my focus so I could jab it into the correct part of my thigh with the right amount of pressure. It only took two tries. It was actually easier than I thought it would be, and strangely didn't hurt at all. I was suprised when I removed it and realized how long the needle was.

Then I walked downstairs and pressed the button to call the receptionist. I pressed it maybe fifteen times. She was a little pissed when she came in and said, "You only have to press the button once."

"I just injected myself with my epi-pen and I need to see a doctor."

"Oh, Ohmygod, OK. Let me call you an ambulance. Sit down."

Come to find out, she used to work for Emergency Services in England. She was very kind and stroked my back to keep my from panicking while I held onto the chair for dear life as the adrenalin started to kick in.

Eventually the ambulance arrived and they took my pulse, which was beating like a mad woman's. This made them decide to take me down the street to the nearest doctor's office.

The doctor kept me for two hours and took my blood pressure and pulse every ten minutes. They tried to get me an epi-pen, but turns out there isn't an epi-pen in the whole country right now! Yay! So now I have two syringes and 2CCs of adrenalin that I get to shoot myself up with, should this happen again. (If it does, I'm just going to buy myself a bubble to live in.)

A nurse from Minnesota looked after me and took me back to my hostel when the office closed. I don't know her name. She listens to "A Prarie Home Companion" to keep from getting homesick.

Now I'm not sure what to do. I feel like I've been chewed up and spat out. It's like every force in the universe is trying to send me home. My body is revolting against me.

Good thing I'm stubborn and all of this makes me want to throw my middle finger in the air and say "Suck it, New Zealand!"

I will succeed here. Oh yes. I will.

Now it's on.

i don't know what day this is...

This will have to be a quick and dirty post, since I'm sitting in a McDonalds using the wi-fi.
WWOOF-ing is pretty much the coolest thing ever. I'm staying with a couple that has an olive grove overlooking the Hokiangi Harbor. The woman used to do weaving and the man is a retired farmer. Dorothy is a wonderful cook and has been making me gluten-free breads and cookies. (I think they're trying to fatten me up, and it's working...)

Their little cottage is wonderful. It's covered in vines and plants. There's citrus trees, bananas, and pretty much every flowering plant you can imagine. I'm obsessed with the lavender bushes and keep having to clean out my pockets because I can't seem to pass a bush without stuffing a bunch in my jacket. They have these white fluffy chickens that I feed every morning and white fluffy sheep that "BAA" all afternoon.

I've been riding their horses when it's not raining too hard. It's my first time to ride English saddle, so my ass is pretty sore. I almost fell off this morning when Umeri decided to take off without my permission. It was strange not having a saddle-horn to grab onto in case of emergency. But I managed to keep myself on and gain control over the horse. I also managed to do some leather-working this morning to repair an old rain cover for their horse.

I just purchased a pair of Wellingtons, or gum-boots, or rubber boots. It rains so much here, it's really the only way to walk around... Now I'm about to go to some natural hot springs and soak for a little while. Apparently they smell like sulfur and they keep warning me that I'll smell afterwards. I guess I come off as more concerned with hygiene than I really am...

I feel a lot better. I think those roids are working.

Peace out!

day 11 (opo the gay dolphin)

I forgot to tell you about Opo the Gay Dolphin. This is either because I forgot, or I'm lazy, or both.
I've been trying to find the wonderful video we watched about her when we stopped in Opononi, but it's not on YouTube, so just read this in a British accent and think of grainy, black and white video with a soundtrack of cheesy 1950s music in the background.



"Opo, a young female bottlenose dolphin, enchanted the residents of the Northland seaside town of Opononi for 10 months, from June 1955 to March 1956. First noticed in Hokianga Harbour by farmer and boat owner Piwai Toi, Opo cautiously began to approach the beach near the Opononi wharf in spring and early summer to make contact with locals.
Once the first newspaper articles and photos appeared in December 1955, Opononi became a magnet for holidaymakers wanting to see her. Hordes travelled by car or bus along dusty, unsealed roads to stay in the camping ground or the hotel, both of which quickly became booked out.
Opo enjoyed being with children most, juggling beach balls or beer bottles on her snout, but she had her favourites among the adults as well. Some of the treatment she received was less welcome – jabs with oars and fights for her attention. Concerned about her fate, locals formed the Opononi Gay Dolphin Protection Committee and called on the government to protect her. As a result, at midnight on 8 March 1956 an order in council came into effect, making it an offence, carrying a £50 fine, to take or molest any dolphin in Hokianga Harbour.
The next day Opo was found dead, jammed in a crevice between rocks. Mystery surrounds her death, as it did Pelorus Jack’s. Some people suggested she had become stranded while fishing, others that she had been killed by fishermen using gelignite, and even more fancifully, that she had committed suicide because she lacked a mate.
The saddened community buried Opo in front of the beach where she had entertained so many. Messages of sympathy poured into Opononi from people around the country, including the governor general. The sculptor Russell Clark produced a statue in her memory." [Te Ara: The Encyclopedia of New Zealand]

We arrived at the library around 9am and had to wait for a tiny little old lady to come a turn on the video, she swore that she wasn't late, we were just early.

day 10

This weird thing keeps happening where go to sleep and I wake up in New Zealand.

Thank you for all your positive thoughts and good ju-ju, it worked. I'm feeling much better today and I think I'll be near 100% tomorrow. I moved back to the place I was staying my first two nights in Auckland. It's much more conducive to being sick since it has an electric tea pot and a private bathroom. It's also very clean.

Yesterday I found K-Road. It has a lot of really good ethnic restaurants and grocery stores. I got some herbs from and ancient Chinese lady and ate some Indian food, that I'm pretty sure was blessed since they were waving nag-champa around the front door while I was eating. Or maybe they just thought I smelled.

K-Road also has several second-hand shops where everything in the store is $20 or under! I'd like to make some room in my backpack for a new scarf and sweater. I think I've lost some weight because my jeans keep falling down when I'm walking. So I guess I need to either invest in a belt or eat more Indian food.

I think I've found a WWOOF place to work in Northland. I would be exercising horses and gardening in exchange for room and board. My room would be either in a bunk in their house or a trailer, which they refer to as a caravan. I think that term sounds much more fun. Living in a trailer in the mountains and riding horses all day and eating home-cooked organic meals at night sounds like a pretty good deal. So, this Wednesday, health permitting, I'll take a bus to Paihia and get picked up by Dorothy to begin my adventure. My plan is to buy guitar before then so I can jam out in my trailer.

Oh, yeah I'll be livin' the life.
L-I-V-I-N.

day 08-09?

What day is it? Oh, Saturday.
I've been sitting here for the past day feeling like two tons of crap. The Irish girls I was crammed in a room with the first night gave me an upper respiratory infection. I've started taking antibiotics, but I'm still not feeling any better. Now I'm waiting for the pharmacy to open so I can buy a neti-pot and some more magic honey.

Oh wait, I'm not allowed to say anything negative because I'm in New Zealand and everything is perfect. Sorry!

I'm having the time of my life! The top bunk is my favorite! I love that the shower only lasts for five seconds before you have to push a button to turn the faucet on again! I love the disgusting restrooms! I love not knowing whether I'm going to be well tomorrow or not! Life is nothing less than grand.

Seriously, I am the luckiest person ever to get to do this, but that doesn't mean that I don't have a mental meltdown every once in a while. Besides, this is my blog and I'm trying to stay honest for the sake of historical reference.

So, on Saturday, August 16, at 8:15 am, Ashleigh Almond felt like shit and was scared and worried and trying to do all the things you're supposed to do when you're sick:
-drinking lots of water
-taking antibiotics
-eating yogurt
-resting
-gargling with some weird iodine crap

And now for some nostalgia:

My Crunk Birthday


Denton Gothic


Jazz Fest

day 07

i am exhausted.
i got on a bus headed for auckland at 7:45am today.
we stopped at tane mahuta again and i actually got some photos this time.
the bus driver drove through the mountains like a bat out of hell and i had to lay down and close my eyes the entire time to keep from puking. she also insisted on listening to mariah carey the entire time.
other than that, i met two very friendly cats and a black lab at a cafe we stopped at along the way.
tonight i am supposed to hang out with some germans. das gud!

day 06

well, i've finally got my internal clock on kiwi time, but that means it's harder to communicate with you fine people back home, which sucks. also, for some reason i'm not able to send/receive text messages. so, i guess i still need to sort out this communication thing. internet is outrageously expensive: $6/hour.

ok, so... today.

today i slept in, which was much needed after spending the last couple days on a bus with a time schedule. then i ate some yogurt and a pear on the beach and walked to the town to buy a long black. after my caffeine-fix, i took a couple bikes with my german friend, sophie, the rocky part of the coast where i ate green-lipped mussels and hummus. (this probably sounds like a horrible combination, but i promise it was the tastiest, cheapest meal i've eaten so far)

we then rode up to the waitangi treaty grounds. this was where the brits signed a treaty saying they'd respect the maoris and their culture, but i think we all know how that worked out...given the track record of the english. the treaty grounds were beautiful, and if i can get this shitty wireless connection to work, then i'll upload them to flickr. there was a forest of ferns and kauri trees that met a rolling green lawn that spread to the beach. it's basically every beautiful natural thing that you'd want to see (mountains, sea, trees, green grass, rocky beach, sandy beach) all rolled into one little paradise.
there were even bunnies; one big black one and three small cottontails. they have gluten-free products in the grocery store, a large selection like it's no big deal. and all the products display their ingredients so i don't have to guess if i'm going to get poisoned or not.

i did fall off my bike today and scraped my knee up pretty nicely. my klutzy track-record is starting to worry me. at this rate i'm going to poke my eye out by next tuesday.

day 04-05

I've been so busy seeing the sites here that I haven't had the chance to write! 

Yesterday I took a bus from Auckland to Paihia, otherwise known as the Bay of Islands. The drive was through mountains covered in sheep and lambs. I was sure that those views couldn't be beat, but NZ just keeps topping itself.

 

When I arrived in Paihia, I decided to take a ferry out to "the hole in the rock", which is exactly what it sounds like...a giant hole through a giant rock in the middle of the sea. Along the way we passed several..islands...in the bay. A few were just islands that incredibly lucky/rich/awesome people live on and rely on the ferry to get their mail. 

Today I woke up at 6am to catch a 7am bus to Cape Rainga, which is exactly the top of New Zealand. The drive was spectacular and we had a crazy Maori bus driver that sang to us and revealed way too much information about his personal life to a group of strange tourists. Luckily I had my ipod with me so I could tune out the crazy and enjoy some "sweet as" (my new NZ phrase!) tunes while looking at views that caused my mouth to be open all day long. 

I got to drive down 90 Mile Beach, which isn't 90 miles long at all. We saw a seal and I collected quite a few shells. Then, unbeknownst to me, we went boarding down HUGE sand dunes. I didn't know that I needed to bring a change of clothes and ended up being the only person on the whole bus to end up landing in the huge stream at the bottom of the dunes. I was soaked. One lady lent me her towel, so I visited the rest of the sites looking like a crazy bum with hiking boots and a multi-colored beach towel around my waist. 

Cape Rainga was our next stop. It's the northernmost point of New Zealand and has a view of the Pacific and Tazman Sea intersecting. I really wanted to spend more than an hour there, but alas I had to get back on the Magic Bus (that's really what the bus line is called). Unfortunately my camera battery died right after I took my first picture of the Cape. Luckily, my new German bus-friend, Sophie, took some pictures of me in my towel at the end of the world.

After this, we went to a forest to see Tane Mahuta, the world's largest living Kauri tree. It was basically a rainforest in the middle of some mountains. It was also spectacular and even if my battery hadn't died, no pictures could do it justice. Also, I've had the song "Tane Mahuta" by the Ruby Suns in my head for about four months. I had no idea what it meant until two days ago when I found out it was included in my tour. 

I'm surprised everyday I'm here that so much beauty can be contained in such a small space. There's a big, big world out there and I'm just a little speck, but that's OK. I'm content that I even get to see it. 

Champion!

(another new kiwi phrase I've learned.)

day 03

I got lost today and ended up finding the New Zealand I've been looking for. My feet are sore, my whole body aches, and I haven't felt better in weeks. 

On a whim, I decided to take advantage of this rare sunny day and hop on the ferry to Waiheke Island. It's an artists' colony about 20 minutes away from Auckland by ferry. I think it's the closest thing I've seen to paradise. Beautiful green hillsides sloping down into cerulean blue water. Little bungalows with flowering plants growing in front. Views that take the breath out of you. 

I would be satisfied sitting in a rocking chair on a porch there until I'm 85, even if I only had chickens and stray cats to keep me company. 

day 02

Today I spent $30 on a jar of honey.

It was a long day.

I took the Auckland Explorer Bus Tour, where I saw the BIG 10 attractions of Auckland. 

1. Ferry Building

2. Bastion Point Lookout (Mission Bay Beach)

3. Kelly Tarlton's Antartic Encounter and Underwater World

4. Rose Park Gardens (no roses, since it's winter)

5. Holy Trinity Cathedral

6. Auckland Museum

7. Parnell Villiage

8. Civic Theatre (Queen Street)

9. Victoria Park Market

10. Sky Tower 

America's Cup Viaduct Harbor (drive through, no stop)

I met a nice Austrian lady on the bus, that works for RedBull,  and we hung out all day. It was interesting to see new sights with someone with a totally different frame of reference than myself. She had never been to the states or NZ. 

Seeing Bastion Point/Mission Bay Beach and looking out across the water, I finally felt like "Hey! I'm in New Zealand and it's really pretty! Maybe this wasn't such a dumb decision after all..."

After this, I visited Kelly Tarlton's, where I found that penguins can be really big, probably twice the size of my cat. I also realized that NZ stingrays are the size of small children and are related to sharks. I got to see replicas of Captain Scott's cabin from his Antartic expedition. It didn't look like much fun. They ended up eating the horses they brought and many men died of scurvy. They did have a nice piano and many tins of potted meat, which is totally my favorite of all potted things.  

My next stop, the Auckland Museum, was a strange place. Since most NZ history is relatively new, the first two floors looked like an antique junk shop with lots of costumes, furniture and ceramics. The next floor was filled with Maori tribal artifacts and a recreation of a tribal house. Adjacent to the museum were two greenhouses and a fern forest. These were, by far, my favorite sights of the day. I could spend hours in the fern forest if it hadn't been so cold and I didn't have a bus to catch.

Tomorrow I plan on getting a PO box, figuring out why my phone won't work, and visiting Mt. Eden. Also on my list is maintaining my sanity and not getting sick from the sore throat I have at the moment. This $30 manuka honey better make me well, or I am going to be pissed.

day 01

Oh holy shit...what have I done?

 

This was the main thought going through my head today as I walked around the city. I tried to see as much Auckland as possible on foot. I didn't want to try and navigate the bus system in my depleted mental state. 

I guess it didn't really hit me until I found out that my cell phone won't work here. I am alone... in a foreign country. Granted, it's very westernized and everyone speaks English, but they also put beet relish on their hamburgers, and if that's not foreign, then I don't know what is. 

Today was a good day though. The weather was nice. I think the high was around 60F. I started out on foot with no real direction, so I just followed a group of people that looked like they knew where they were going. And what do you know? I ended up at Rotoara Square. There was a mini-market with wool sweaters and scarves and various food stalls. I ordered a "full metal jacket" which is Kiwi for a baked potato. I also had the best chai tea I've ever tasted. It had actual pieces of ginger floating in it. 

Then I kept walking and ended up on Queen Street, which is the main shopping district in Auckland. There were so many shops that I felt overwhelmed and didn't go into any for a while. I did stop into a health food store and bought some vitamins and deodorant. I really didn't want my first impression to the kiwi's to be one of a smelly, malnourished Texan. 

Somehow I ended up at the Auckland Art Gallery, and though I hate to admit it, it sucked. One "piece" was a pile of trash to signify our negative impact on our environment. Can't we just look out the window and see that? I know I sound like someone's grandpa by saying this, but I really wanted to see pretty, not a pile of plastic buckets. 

Fortunately, right down the street from the art gallery was Albert Park. I was fascinated by the giant roots of the trees there, as you can see by the five billion pictures I took of them. I walked around the park for a bit and attempted to journal on a bench there, until I realized some dude blatantly staring at me, so I got up and walked to the other side of the park where I sat next to a nice older couple. Then said dude ended up on a bench beside me, so I decided that it was coffee time! 

I took my dad's advice and ordered a "tall black". It wasn't tall, but it was definitely black. I asked for cream and sugar and was given a bowl of whipped cream, which I think was better than just regular half n' half. 

Then I moseyed on back to Queen Street and had dinner at Burger Fuel! BURGER FUEL!!! 

For some reason this name sounds like a war-cry to me. 

"YOU CAN TAKE AWAY OUR LAND, BUT YOU CAN NEVER TAKE OUR BURGERS!!!!" 

The reason I chose this fine establishment is they offer gluten-free buns. Oh, hell yes. I had a burger and fries for dinner and I have never felt less guilty about eating fast-food. Not only did I eat greasy sweet potato-fries, but I did all of this while reading a gossip magazine. (Hey, I needed to make sure Amy Winehouse didn't die during my 13 hour flight.)

And now I'm so jet-lagged and culture-shocked and mentally drained that I'm going to lay down and read a book that has nothing at all to do with New Zealand.